I Remember

Last week Nathan and I made a little trip to the hospital where he was born for me to get some lab work done. This is the second time we have been there since he was born (my silly thyroid hasn’t quite gotten things figured out again without all those pregnancy hormones). Every time I walk into those doors, memories come flooding back.

I remember sitting in the waiting room before our ultrasound appointment. We talked about baby names while we were waiting and even finalized a girl name before we went back for the appointment. I was so nervous that we settled on a girl name so quickly. We were still completely clueless on boy names at that point.

I remember the dark room and the ultrasound tech pointing out all of Nathan’s major organs on the screen and how thankful I was for each thing she pointed out (what a miracle his little body is)

I remember the fear and anxiety when she took a long time looking at his heart and even said she would come back later to look at it again.

I remember the relief I felt when she assured us that his heart and all four chambers looked fine that she was just trying to get a good picture.

I remember when she asked if we wanted to know if we were having a boy or a girl and we ecstatically said yes.

I remember when she announced that we were having a boy and pointed out the little boy parts on the screen.

I remember the joy I felt when I heard those words and fighting back the tears. Suddenly this baby felt so real.

I remember saying “he” in the ultrasound room and laughing that we finally could use real pronouns when talking about our baby.

I remember seeing Nathan with his mouth wide open and his arm up by his face when the tech told us he was sucking on his arm.

I remember heading up to the maternity ward after our ultrasound for a tour.

I remember telling the nurse we were having a boy and Matt laughing at me because we were supposed to be keeping the gender a secret until our big reveal to our families.

I remember sitting in the parking lot after our appointment talking to Matt about our little boy and how I didn’t want him to go back to work because I was so excited I just wanted to keep celebrating our son.

Then I remember that exciting drive we made from our doctor’s office across the street from the hospital on the day Nathan was born.

I remember walking into the hospital with the realization that the next time we walked outside we would be a family of three!

I remember settling into our hospital room and watching the Price is Right and Family Feud on tv before the contractions got too painful.

I remember sending Matt out to get the nurse to tell her I wanted my epidural and how fast he acted on my request.

I remember the relief once the epidural was in and trying to get some rest, but I was just too excited to sleep.

I remember the doctor placing Nathan on my chest and how awestruck I was to see that little body outside my body.

I remember holding him up just to make sure he was in fact a boy.

I remember Matt coming back to the room after sharing the news with my parents and him telling me that I was torturing my mom by not letting her in the room yet. I just wasn’t ready to share him.

I remember how loud he screamed during his bath and the doctor’s comment that she was glad she didn’t have to take him home. I was just relieved his lungs were so strong.

I remember cuddling Nathan skin to skin on my chest and savoring those sweet, sweet moments

I remember the flood of visitors we had on that Thursday night to celebrate our precious son. I loved showing him off to everyone.

I remember the fun birthday cake our friends brought and what a thoughtful gift that it was.

I remember the exhaustion that hit late that night and how I never felt I would be rested again.

I remember Matt taking Nathan down to the nursery to rock him for a couple of hours so I could get some sleep.

I remember the next day with new visitors and how much Nathan slept during the day.

I remember Matt never wanting to be separated from Nathan. He always stayed with him in the nursery when he was being examined.

I remember how disappointed Matt was when the doctor wouldn’t let him stay in the nursery during Nathan’s circumcision and how much we missed him during those few minutes he was apart from us.

I remember that second night in the hospital when Nathan was either nursing or screaming ALL night long. The nurse even checked on us a few times, he was screaming so loud.

I remember getting Nathan dressed to take him home and how adorable he looked in his little sleeper and hat.

I remember those last few moments in the hospital just the three of us as we prepared to start our new adventure.

I remember watching Matt put Nathan in the car and how excited we both were to finally have a baby to put in that car seat

That hospital contains some of the best memories of my entire life. It will always be such a special place to me.