A Few Things That Brightened My Weekend

All this week I had been counting down the days until Matt came home from Florida. He was supposed to be home on Friday morning after spending 10 days there, and I was ready. We knew there was a chance he might get extended, but I was really thinking he would make it home on Friday. On Thursday night during a tearful conversation on both ends of the phone, we coped with the fact that he had to stay in Florida for another week. After I got off the phone and recovered slightly, I immediately began dreading the upcoming weekend. I hadn't made any plans because I expected to be soaking up much needed quality time with my hubby. I just knew the weekend would drag by and I would constantly be thinking about how I wished Matt was home. Now, believe me I still wish Matt was home right now, but some unexpected things happened this weekend that kept it from being as terrible as I was expecting. Here are a few things that made my weekend a little brighter.

- A cuddly puppy
Rhapsody must have known I was having a bad night on Thursday, because she slept cuddled up against me the entire night. Usually, since Matt has been gone, she sleeps at the foot of the bed on his side, but Thursday night she was lying cuddled up against me the whole night. She was pushing me off the bed at times, but I didn't mind that night.

-Flowers from my hubby
I answered the door Friday afternoon to see these pretties greeting me with a sweet note from my husband. They cheered me up when I saw them for the first time and have continued to brighten my mood all weekend whenever I look over and see them.

- Texts and emails from friends
Starting Friday morning, I got multiple emails and texts from friends checking on me, asking if Matt was coming home and offers to hang out to cheer me up when I told them he got extended. I was reminded of all the great people surrounding and supporting me and Matt.

- Visit from my parents
I called my mom Friday morning to let her know that Matt got extended and she mentioned that she and Barry were looking to take a break for the weekend since family would be in town to take care of Joyce and decided to come up to Tulsa and keep me company. That was great news for me after another tearful morning. They were great at distracting me from missing Matt. We ate out, shopped, visited and played settlers.

- Long sleeved t-shirts
When we were out shopping on Saturday, I tried on some long sleeved t-shirts at Old Navy and I seriously got a little giddy when I put it on. Buying long sleeved shirts means that Fall is just around the corner, and I'm so ready for cooler weather and college football!

-Thriving Marriage Retreat
This one might sound weird that I went to a marriage retreat when my husband is in Florida, but it makes sense I promise. One of my old professors from grad school helps with a grant through the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative to give the ENRICH marriage inventory to couples attending the thriving marriage retreats. On Sunday of the retreat past alum and current students of OSU's program go over the results of the inventory in individual feedback sessions with the couples. Just so happens, there was one in Tulsa this weekend. These are a great way to make a little extra money, get a chance to interact with a different population of clients than I typically have exposure to and best of all, reconnect with old friends from my graduate school days. During breaks we catch up and tell funny stories about our time in the program. I went to these all the time when I was a student because the clinical hours counted toward graduation. Most of the retreats are in Guthrie, which is too far to drive for me, but every once in awhile they offer them in Tulsa. It was great timing and brought back old memories.

-Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake with a great friend

After the retreat this afternoon, my friend Deborah and I went to dinner since she was in town for the retreat. Another of our friends recently started a job at Cheesecake Factory, and we decided to eat there. We enjoyed delicious cheesecake and great conversation. I've been lucky to get to see Deborah several times with summer. She's a great friend, and it was nice to catch up on life.

Four

Growing up it was totally normal to have four additional members of my fan club. I was oblivious to the fact that most kids didn't have four, because it was normal to me.

They were at every...

Birthday party

Dance recital

T-ball game

Awards assembly

Piano recital

Children's choir concert

School program

Graduation

Wedding event

All four of them have been present at every major and minor milestone in my life. Most kids were lucky to have 1 or 2 grandparents at their activities. Some probably felt blessed to have 1 or 2 grandparents even living when they graduated college or got married, but I had the unusual opportunity of having so many memories that involve all four of my grandparents. In fact it was so normal to see all four of my grandparents together that one time (not sure how old I was, probably 7 or 8) I interrupted Granny and Momoo talking to each other at my brother's baseball game and inquired to how they were related to each other in my family. Momoo laughed and said that they weren't related to each other, but were just friends. At that age, I couldn't even wrap my head around the possibility that my grandparents weren't bound by something more than that because so much of the time that I saw them they were together.

I have a unique and special relationship with each of my grandparents, and although as a child I took those relationships for granted, now, as an adult I recognize the incredible blessing I've had to be able to cherish countless memories with each of my grandparents. And after news we discovered in the past two weeks that the time we have left on earth with Papa is limited, I know I will never again take for granted the relationships I have with my grandparents or all the childhood and adult memories that they are a part of. I am truly blessed with precious relationships and incredible role models in my life. They each have had an influence in the woman I have become.

What I Did This Summer

Thankfully, working in a school setting means extra free time in the summer. Unlike a teacher's schedule, I didn't have the summer off, but my work schedule was much more flexible, and I had a significant amount of down time at home during the week. Since I knew I would have extra free time and that Matt would be gone for most of the summer, I made a long list at the beginning of the summer of things I wanted to accomplish with my extra time. I was looking over my list today, and there are only one or two things left that haven't been checked off, so hopefully I can get those out of the way this week or next before school starts again.
I am most definitely a list maker and am much more productive when I can physically check something off (the goal oriented personality comes out). I had my one big list that was overwhelming when I first made it in June and then usually weekly I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish including things on my big list and then other chores and projects that came up during that particular week.

My work week this summer has varied but typically I worked about the same amount of hours each week. I usually had one day of the week where I was off and didn't have to go in to work. I also usually had one day that was a full work day (7-8 hours). The other 3 days I worked part time usually in the afternoons (2-4 hours). Since I frequently get asked what I do with my extra down time, here's a list of things that are crossed off on my summer to do list.

Wash windows

Wash blinds (worst. job. ever. I saved this for last. I was a wet, sweaty mess by the time I finished)

Clean out guest closets

Clean out bathroom cabinets/drawer

Wash base boards

Clean light fixtures (take them all down, soak and wash them)

Reorganize file cabinet in office

Reorganize/clean laundry room cabinets

Update photo albums (print out pictures from computer and put them in photo album)

Back up digital pictures on CD's

Clean refrigerator shelves/drawers

Reorganize recipe binder

Clean out bookshelves in office

Clean out desk/CD's in office

Clean out coffee table/end table cabinets

Deep clean shower

Have carpet stretched and steam cleaned

Clean out storage cabinet in office

This list combined with other weekly chores (cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, errands, appointments, etc.), kept me from getting too bored but still allowed me to enjoy a leisurely schedule. I'm really thankful that I have a job with a flexible summer schedule so I get a chance to get caught up on household chores and things that only need done once or twice a year. I know I would be overwhelmed if I had a 40 hour a week 12 months a year job and had to squeeze all these things in on evenings and weekends. It was fun to play the role of part-time stay at home wife too. I could get used to it. Matt told me not to though :)

Weekends are Way Better...

...when Matt's home!
Matt left to go back to Florida this morning for 2-3 weeks, but that's no fun to think about. Instead I want to focus on the time we got to spend together this past weekend.

When Matt's gone, I find myself measuring time by the weekends. He was home for about 10 days this last time, but instead I kept telling people that he was home for two weekends. And as long as things go according to plan (which is a big if), he will be gone for two work weeks, but only one weekend. I'm just so used to spending weekends with Matt, that those are usually the hardest times for me.

Since we knew this was his last weekend to spend at home, I wanted to make fun plans that focused on spending as much time together as possible. After dinner on Friday, we decided to take Rhapsody to the dog park since she hadn't been in a long time (pre Disney World). Unfortunately, after the 25 minute drive out there, we discovered the dog park was temporarily closed. We were super disappointed. Rhapsody was too. She ran up to the gate and started sniffing, and then stared at us wondering why we wouldn't let her go in. Since the dog park was closed, we just went on a long walk at the park. They have a small pond and trails, so it wasn't a total wasted trip. Rhapsody still found lots of new stuff to smell and greeted several other dogs.

After we got home, we decided to try and finish the most recent movie we'd gotten from Netflix. We started it the night before, but Matt only made it through about 30 minutes, before he was asleep. Take two wasn't much better. I think he only lasted about 10 minutes. I was okay though. It just meant I got to watch this scene a couple of times.



This was the 3rd time we've seen Enchanted, but its a great Disney movie. I'm actually surprised we don't own it.

On Saturday morning, Matt stayed home and mowed the yard, while Rhapsody and I headed to downtown Tulsa to watch my friend Deborah finish a quarter marathon. I don't know who was crazy enough to schedule a race in Oklahoma in August, but there were lots of runners, and it actually ended up not being too terribly hot. Deborah's amazing. She's so dedicated and motivated. She's planning on running a half marathon in November.

Deborah and Corley

This was Corley's first race. Apparently Deborah got him hooked. They're inspiring. I visited with them for a few minutes after the race and then headed back home. That afternoon Matt and I made a quick trip over to Claremore for lunch. We ate here. They're famous for their pie, so of course we couldn't leave without getting some.

We were stuffed when we left, but it was fun to try a new restaurant. After lunch we headed to downtown Claremore to tour this mansion:

Turns out, I wouldn't really classify it as a mansion, but rather as a big house. It pales in comparison to the Philbrook or the Marland Mansion in Ponca City. It was free though, and I'm a sucker to touring old big houses especially when the furniture and decor matches the time period it was built. It was fun to go on a little field trip on Saturday.

When we got back home, we finally finished Enchanted, and Matt actually stayed awake. I kept singing the one or two lines I could remember from the songs all afternoon. That evening we met some of our favorite friends at the bowling alley. For some reason we rarely go bowling, but we always have the best time when we go. Matt and I make fun wagers on the games (yes, I'm competitive). He beat me the first game by a measly 2 pins, so he didn't have to cook dinner on Sunday. The second game he beat me by a few more, but hopefully by the time he gets back from Florida, he'll have forgotten that I have to watch whatever movie he chooses with him. After bowling, we went to Cherry Berry with Matt and Erica, and sat outside eating our frozen yogurt and visiting for a couple of hours.

One of the things I miss most when Matt is out of town is going to church together, so church on Sunday was extra special. We spent Sunday afternoon getting ready for Matt's trip and playing some Rock Band. Matt couldn't leave town without getting in a couple more games of Settlers, so we went over to Jason and Andrea's on Sunday night and played a couple of games. It was a great weekend, and we were thankful to have the opportunity to spend some quality time together and with our friends.

Reunited

I wasn't the only person in our family who had a rough time with Matt being gone for so long. Rhapsody missed him too. Typically, Rhapsody prefers Matt over me. He comes home for lunch everyday so he usually spends more time with her than I get to during the week. I noticed some subtle changes in Rhapsody while Matt was out of town. In general, she seemed more needy and attention seeking. This is what our living room looked like on a typical day:

I don't know how many times a day I picked her toys up, but she was constantly getting them out and wanting to play.

She was also extra clingy. Every time I went to a different room, she was at my feet following me. She spent a lot of time sleeping under the desk in the office when I was on the computer. But as soon as I got up she was at my feet. She cuddled on the couch with me when I watched TV, followed me in the guest bedrooms when I was cleaning, and lounged on rugs in the bathroom when I got ready in the mornings. She's usually pretty clingy, but I definitely noticed an increase during the weeks Matt was gone.
One time, I was sitting on the couch when the phone rang. Rhapsody was sleeping on my lap, so I picked her up with me as I ran to answer the phone. I sat her down on the desk while I was talking and she just made herself at home by the computer. She laid there for probably about 15 minutes.
And of course Rhapsody is just as ornery as ever. I had company over one night when Matt was gone and went outside to check on Rhapsody (usually she doesn't stay outside very long when people are in our house), and this is what I found:


As much as Rhapsody wanted to be around me when Matt was gone, she went nuts when he walked in the door on Friday. He immediately got down on the ground with her, and they shared a moment together :). I don't know who was more excited to be reunited.


It might seem silly to anyone who isn't a dog owner, but having Rhapsody helps so much when Matt is gone. I never had to come home to a completely empty house, and she was ecstatic to see me no matter how short of a time I was gone. She slept with me at night and served as a great distraction and entertainment when I was lonely. Matt missed her a lot. There were times we were talking and he would say, "At least you have Rhapsody with you. I'm all alone here." I'm glad they're together again :)

Homecoming

Matt got home from a long stay in Florida on Friday. He was gone 24 nights on this trip. Thankfully, I got a chance to visit him and break up the marathon of days we were apart, but I had still spent 20 of the last 24 nights without him. I was so ready to see him. He was gone for a 10 day stint in the middle of June, and as I was driving to the airport to pick him up on Friday, I realized how different my emotions and needs were this time around.

The last time Matt went to Florida, I felt very prepared for the time apart. I think there was only one evening out of the 10 I was alone, that I had no plans. I was able to keep busy with fun things, and life was relatively stress free at the time. We had fun things planned for the weekend he was coming home, and as I drove to the airport to pick him up from his first trip, I was just full of excitement. I was ready to have my husband home, the husband that is my friend, companion, and love. I missed living life with him, and wanted him by my side again.

This last time apart was very different, especially the last few days he was gone. This time apart was significantly longer, and I hadn't prepared myself as well. I was lonely and unfortunately I was used to him being gone, and living life without him here, which was something I never wanted to get used to. The schedule for his project has also changed, and at this point, we still can't see the light at the end of all his traveling. On top of that, this last week was full of stressors in my family that seemed to keep piling up. It was hard absorbing all the news by myself with Matt gone, and the days dragged by until we were together again. When I was driving to the airport this time to pick him up, my emotions were completely different. Instead of my heart being filled with excitement and anticipation, I was flooded with relief. I was ready to have my husband home, but this time I was looking forward to being with the husband who is my strength, my comforter, and protector. I had a mini breakdown at the airport when he hugged me, and another major breakdown when we got home, and I told him everything that was going on. I hadn't shared a lot of details when he was gone for several reasons, and it was such a relief to lie in his arms and share my worries and burdens openly and to hear him pray for my family and comfort me.

I realized as I was reflecting on this time in our marriage, how unique our relationship is. Matt encompasses so many roles as my husband and each one of them combines to create a marriage that is complex and special. There's no denying that this has been a difficult summer for our marriage, but I have seen growth in our relationship, and I know 10 years down the road we will look back on this time and reflect on the lessons we learned and the ways we matured as a couple during our time apart.