Homecoming

Matt got home from a long stay in Florida on Friday. He was gone 24 nights on this trip. Thankfully, I got a chance to visit him and break up the marathon of days we were apart, but I had still spent 20 of the last 24 nights without him. I was so ready to see him. He was gone for a 10 day stint in the middle of June, and as I was driving to the airport to pick him up on Friday, I realized how different my emotions and needs were this time around.

The last time Matt went to Florida, I felt very prepared for the time apart. I think there was only one evening out of the 10 I was alone, that I had no plans. I was able to keep busy with fun things, and life was relatively stress free at the time. We had fun things planned for the weekend he was coming home, and as I drove to the airport to pick him up from his first trip, I was just full of excitement. I was ready to have my husband home, the husband that is my friend, companion, and love. I missed living life with him, and wanted him by my side again.

This last time apart was very different, especially the last few days he was gone. This time apart was significantly longer, and I hadn't prepared myself as well. I was lonely and unfortunately I was used to him being gone, and living life without him here, which was something I never wanted to get used to. The schedule for his project has also changed, and at this point, we still can't see the light at the end of all his traveling. On top of that, this last week was full of stressors in my family that seemed to keep piling up. It was hard absorbing all the news by myself with Matt gone, and the days dragged by until we were together again. When I was driving to the airport this time to pick him up, my emotions were completely different. Instead of my heart being filled with excitement and anticipation, I was flooded with relief. I was ready to have my husband home, but this time I was looking forward to being with the husband who is my strength, my comforter, and protector. I had a mini breakdown at the airport when he hugged me, and another major breakdown when we got home, and I told him everything that was going on. I hadn't shared a lot of details when he was gone for several reasons, and it was such a relief to lie in his arms and share my worries and burdens openly and to hear him pray for my family and comfort me.

I realized as I was reflecting on this time in our marriage, how unique our relationship is. Matt encompasses so many roles as my husband and each one of them combines to create a marriage that is complex and special. There's no denying that this has been a difficult summer for our marriage, but I have seen growth in our relationship, and I know 10 years down the road we will look back on this time and reflect on the lessons we learned and the ways we matured as a couple during our time apart.