Sharing the News

As soon as we found out we were expecting (well before actually), we started thinking about how we would share the news with our families. We hadn't told our families or friends that we were trying to get pregnant. In fact the only person I told was my mentor Judy so she could be praying for us (although I think a couple of my close friends had it figured out). We wanted to keep our plans quiet for a few reasons, one of which was that we wanted the news to be a surprise when we did get pregnant so planning how we told people was a fun task Matt and I took on. We discovered we were pregnant the weekend before Labor Day and immediately decided we would head to Weatherford the following weekend to share the news. Unfortunately we found out later that week that Barry's mom had passed away and the funeral was that weekend in Weatherford, so although we had already decided to head home for the weekend, we decided to go a day early to be with my parents. Each time we got off the phone from talking to our parents that week before we shared the news, Matt and I would just smile at each other and say, "They have no idea." It was fun keeping the secret just between the two of us for a few days.

We drove to Weatherford Thursday night and initially planned to tell my parents first, but because of all the family in town for Joyce's funeral, they had company, so we went to Matt's parents house first. I don't remember which one of us came up with the idea of how to tell his parents the news. I think I did. Matt's mom usually starts asking us for a Christmas list a couple of months before Christmas, so this year we made one in advance that looked like this:

When we got to Matt's parents house, Matt said that we had come up with a Christmas list and asked if they wanted to see it. It was fun to see their reaction when they realized our news.

After we spent some time at Matt's parents, we headed over to my parent's house. By this point it was late that night and I absolutely couldn't wait to tell my parents. We made it over there, and Barry's brother and sister-in-law were still there. We visited with everyone for awhile and eventually (I think it was close to 11 that night), they went back to the hotel and we were FINALLY alone with my parents and I didn't wait another second to tell them.

How we decided to tell my parents involves a little back story so hang with me. My mom and I have always been super close. She is my best friend and besides Matt is the person I'm closest to. We lived alone together for the last 3 years my high school and we had agreed during that time that there was no way we could live far away from each other especially when I got older and had kids. So we made a pact that wherever my husband and I ended up settling, she would move not to the same town as me but within an hour distance. In fact when Barry called and asked me permission to marry my mom, I reminded him of our pact, and he agreed to comply. Matt obviously knew about this pact because we talked and joked about it so often. He actually came up with the idea of how to tell them and told me about it before we even got pregnant. Here's what we did.

We got a map and Matt mapped out a circle of appropriate places they could move to that would meet the requirements of the pact. He made an inner circle that was our buffer zone (so we didn't turn into an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond). We also printed out a few real estate listings of surrounding towns.


I handed the folder to my mom and told her that I knew it wasn't the best timing, but we wanted to give them as much notice as we could since they only had until May. She gave me a confused look and opened the folder. She and Barry laughed at the map and my mom started looking at the real estate listings. They totally DIDN'T get it. They were obviously distracted with Joyce's death and everything that was going on and we had all tossed around the idea at times of them moving closer, so she just assumed we were helping them out and a baby didn't go through her head at all. She would browse through the listings and mention how one house was too small or another didn't have enough bedrooms. I kept saying, "You have until May", hoping it would register something. It didn't. She finally said, "Why May?" and I couldn't take it anymore and blurted out, "Because that's when the baby's due!" That's all it took and instantly Mom and Barry both jumped out of their chairs, my mom screamed, "You're pregnant" and they gave us huge hugs. Barry even got teary eyed mentioning how with one death comes another life. Their reaction was just what I was expecting (only I thought they'd catch on a little sooner). I don't think I've ever seen them so excited. They talked about grandparent names, Barry said he was going to teach him/her to fish and my mom said we needed to get to shopping. We sat out on the back porch for a while longer talking all things baby. It was such a fun night! Now we weren't trying to pressure my parents to move anytime soon. 3 hours is a little far but it's doable for now. Not that we would complain if they decided to move though :).

The next day we went over and shared the news with my grandparents. We went to Momoo and Papa's first. As soon as we got there, I told Momoo I had a picture I wanted her to see. I pulled out the picture of Matt and I holding up a positive pregnancy test. She smiled and excitedly said, "You're pregnant?" and hugged me tighter than she had in a long time. My grandpa was sick and having a bad day so I went over to his chair to show him the picture and he hugged me and told me congratulations. That's the last memory I have with Papa, and although I would have loved to see him again to make more memories that moment is so special to me.

Later that afternoon we went over to Granny and Grandaddy's house. We got there and I told them we had something for them. We handed them this card:

I loved Granny's initial reaction. She said, "Great grandparents, We're too young for that!" It was cute. As we were leaving she said I guess we have until May to get a cane. We stayed over there awhile and she told us about family quilts that we could have for the baby and seemed a little distraught that she had to keep the news quiet for a few weeks. She did a good job keeping our secret even though I know it was hard on her.

We also got the opportunity to share the news in person with my Jeremy and Anna and my step-sister, Tiffany and her husband since they were all in town for Joyce's funeral. We didn't think we would get to tell them in person because they live so far away, and although we wish they could have come home for happier circumstances, we were glad to get to tell them in person.

Since that weekend, we've gotten to share the news in person and over the phone with lots of our friends. Although it's been stressful trying to remember everyone we need to tell (and make sure they don't hear the news from someone else), it's been so fun to spread out the excitement of our pregnancy and let others share in our joy.

My family has had a rough summer/fall filled with two very bad doctor's reports, months of watching loved ones suffer, and two funerals. Matt and I believe that God provided this child at the perfect time to show his goodness and to bring joy to our family during our trials. He is taking care of our family through giving us this child, and we are so thankful for his faithfulness and love for us.