Remembering Papa

I got a tearful phone call from my mom Wednesday morning shortly after I had gotten to work that my grandpa had passed away. He had been diagnosed with terminal cancer at the end of July, so we had all been preparing ourselves, but I was in shock when I heard the news. My first thought after I heard the news was how badly I wanted and needed to be with my family. I immediately called Matt at work and asked if there was any way we could leave for Weatherford that day. He is such a good husband and worked things out at work that we were able to leave town that afternoon, and made it to Weatherford Wednesday night. We made it to my grandma's house just in time for dinner and shared a meal with my parents, grandma, and aunt. I was glad to get a chance to spend some time with my grandma without a house full of people around.

The next day, my mom had to work in the morning, so Matt and I took our time getting ready and ran a few errands. We met my mom and Barry for lunch, and then Barry and Matt took off for OKC, while my mom and I went back to my grandma's. Barry had a doctor's appointment that afternoon in OKC that he really couldn't miss, and I was thankful Matt was willing to go with him, so Barry didn't have to go alone. The preacher doing the funeral came over to my grandma's house that afternoon and most of the family was there and we all sat around sharing stories about Papa and how important he was in our lives. One of the things that stood out to me the whole weekend was the legacy that Momoo and Papa have left. There was a houseful of people who had been directly impacted in so many ways by Papa. Momoo kept saying the whole weekend how great a day that was when she got to hear all of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren sharing about the important role Papa played in our lives. Some of the highlights included how Papa loved living life. He worked hard and was able to retire at age 50 and then he and my grandma traveled and enjoyed life. My mom and aunts talked about how their family always valued vacations and making memories. We talked about how supportive Papa was in every decision we made and how he was always there for all of us at all our school events and anything else that he knew was important to us. We smiled when we remembered his laugh and how he loved giving people a hard time. We laughed about the stories he told, marveled at the faithful, loving 54 year marriage between him and my grandma, and cried as we thought about the hole that was left in our family.

One of the things that my cousin mentioned that really has stuck with me is that although we are sad and miss Papa, his death is not a tragedy. He had a great life. My grandma said when the doctor gave him the news about his cancer, he told the doctor that it was okay because he had had lived a full life, and he truly had. I thought about how honored and blessed I would feel if 50 years from now, I had a house full of family sharing stories like we shared about Papa that day. He was a wonderful man.

Thursday evening, we went back over to my grandma's after most of the other family had left for the night. As we were talking about Papa, Momoo mentioned that she had some photo albums and asked if I was interested in looking at them. She pulled out more than 10 albums ranging from the 1920s up to just a few years ago. I sat on the couch next to her as we browsed through the albums. She shared stories about her family, her mother, Papa, their vacations and lots of fun stories about my mom and my aunts. It was a reminder to me to keep updated on all my photo albums because it was just a sweet time hearing my grandma reminisce about her life and her family. They seemed like a fun couple who had the privilege to live life fully. At one point, she was pointing out a picture of her mother and said that the picture had been taken on Momoo and Papa's wedding day. I asked if she had a wedding album, and her eyes instantly lit up. She ran off to find it and I sat and listened to her share about her wedding day, her attendants, her dress, and how weddings were different back then. At one point, I pointed out how happy she and Papa looked on their wedding day, and with tears in her eyes, she said, "You know as much as I loved him then, I love him more now." I want that kind of marriage and am honored to have such a strong example to look to. I know they fought and had stressful and difficult times in their marriage, but their faithfulness and love carried them through and strengthened their commitment.

Friday morning was spent running errands and finishing up details for the funeral on Saturday. That afternoon we went back to my grandma's to visit, and as soon as we got there, she said, "I got some more photo albums out if you want to look at them." We spent more time that afternoon and evening looking at photo albums and time laughing about funny pictures of my mom and grandpa. It was a special time with my grandma that I will always remember.

As I've gotten older, I've come to realize the importance of funerals in honoring our loved ones, aiding in the grief process, providing closure, and bringing families closer together. Papa's funeral was a great celebration not only of his life and legacy but also of the love of our heavenly Father. I heard my grandma tell the preacher when they were planning the funeral that she wanted Papa lifted up during the service, but she wanted God lifted higher. That's exactly what Papa's funeral was: A time to honor a great man and to give praise and glory to our Savior for hope that we will be reunited with Papa again. I was amazed at how well the pastor did in sharing about Papa's life. When we left the funeral I hugged him and told him that what he shared was my grandpa. He shared stories about how Papa always liked giving others a hard time, loved camping and fishing, treasured his wife and adored his children and grandchildren. He spoke of his faith and love for the Lord, and the legacy he has left in the entire town of Weatherford. After the service, and graveside we spent time fellowshipping with our family for the rest of the afternoon, catching up with cousins we hadn't seen in awhile, playing with the younger children in the family and even cuddling up with some precious little puppies one of which I'm sure will be the newest member of the Van Auken family. That evening we told my grandma goodbye and headed back to my parents house to spend some quality time with my parents and Jeremy and Anna before everyone headed back home on Sunday.

Family looking at photo albums

Barry's getting some practice for the future :)

Sweet puppies

As difficult and emotionally draining as the weekend was, and as much as our hearts are aching at the loss in our lives, the whole weekend I kept thinking about how blessed I have been to have such a great man in my life for 25 years. He has had a direct impact on my life in providing stability, consistency, love, and humor during my childhood and young adulthood, and I am so honored to be a living part of his legacy. My prayer is that Matt and I and our children will honor him in the way we live our lives. Just like him, I pray that we will love God, love our families, work hard, and experience life as fully as he did.