Easter 2011

We had a great Easter celebrating with our families. A few years ago I decided that it would be fun for me to start the tradition of hosting Easter in our home. For the past three years, I have and I've really enjoyed it. But this year I took the year off for the obvious reason of being 39 weeks pregnant. My mom graciously volunteered to host, and I'm so thankful. We still got to celebrate with all our families but I didn't have to stress or worry about everything. I know I would have been wiped out if I had decided to host. I spent a couple of hours on Saturday baking some desserts for the weekend, and I was worn out by the time I finished. I don't think I could have handled planning and preparing the entire dinner. Next year, I'm planning to go back to hosting and I'll have a new little helper in the kitchen :).

This year Matt's parents joined us and my grandparents decided to celebrate with us too. We spent most of the weekend at my parents' house. My mom and Barry prepared wonderful meals all weekend and we spent a lot of time Friday night and Saturday visiting, playing games, eating, and working puzzles (well, I didn't help at all with the puzzle, but other family did). We also ate breakfast at one of our favorite restaurants on Saturday and did a little shopping.

We spent Sunday morning at our church with all our family celebrating our Risen Savior. It was a great service, beautiful music, and wonderful teaching. Then we all went back to my parents' house for Easter lunch. Another couple from our Sunday school class joined the eight of us for Easter lunch, and we're so glad they did. They are becoming great friends to us, and we're sad they'll be moving at the end of the summer. My mom prepared a great lunch including ham, salad, potato casserole, green beans, fruit salad, baked beans, deviled eggs and bread. It was yummy. After lunch we spent more time visiting, playing games, and finishing the puzzle my grandpa started on Friday. It rained all day long, but thankfully we didn't have any outdoor plans. As everyone was leaving that afternoon we talked about how the next time we saw them we'd have a new baby in the family, so exciting!

I love celebrating Easter with all our family and I can't wait for next year. I know we'll start new traditions, and holidays will be even more special with a little one. I can't wait to shop for a darling Easter outfit for Nathan and am excited to have a fun Easter basket to fill with lots of special treats for him!

Random Thoughts

As I'm nearing the end of my first pregnancy and anxiously awaiting the arrival of our son, I have lots of thoughts running through my head.


My last day of work is tomorrow. Our school is closing next year, so it will for sure be the last school day I spend at Cleveland.


I've already transferred most of my clients to other counselors at the school, so I haven't had much to do at work the last few days. It makes me really ready for a break. I prefer to be busy at work.


Matt installed the car seat in our car last week, and when I'm driving I always look back at it and dream about there being a baby all strapped in it.


My doctor is out of town until next Wednesday and when I tell people that, so many of them freak out about how terrible it is that she is gone. Strangely, it's not that big of a deal to me, and I think that comes from my profession. I recognize the importance of self-care and boundaries in my career, and doctors are the same way. They deserve to be able to take vacations and I'd rather have a doctor who takes time off and is refreshed than a tired burned-out doctor who seems stressed all the time. Plus she arranged for my appointment this week to be with the doctor who fills in for her, so I've gotten to meet the other doctor who could be catching Nathan (At our childbirth class, we learned that mothers deliver babies. Doctors just catch them). Obviously I'd prefer my doctor to be there when Nathan is born but I trust her judgment and know she is leaving me and Nathan in good hands.

We had a bomb threat at school this week and had to evacuate the building for a couple of hours. Of course my last week at work had to be crazy.

Matt is so excited about Nathan getting here, and I think it's just precious how excited he is. He is going to be the best dad. Nathan is a very blessed little boy. He asks Nathan everyday when he's going to come, and he has packed his bag for the hospital, and I know that means he is really excited. My husband ALWAYS procrastinates when it comes to packing, so I knew when he got his bag ready a few days ago that he can't wait for Nathan to get here.

The other day I was asking Matt about dinner plans that night, and he said, "Why don't you just go to the hospital, and then we don't have to worry about dinner." He also asked me a few days ago if I'm ever going to start having contractions. So glad he can't wait to see me in pain :). This morning as he was leaving, he told me he would see me tonight unless I needed to go to the hospital today and then he would see me earlier. I can tell we're getting close. Last week I told him that I would probably be calling him at work that day to arrange for him to pick Rhapsody up from the groomer. I wanted to warn him so that when he saw I was calling he wouldn't freak out and think I was calling because I was in labor.

I was sitting in a staff meeting the other day at work and was terrified my water would break during the meeting.

I've heard that bonding with your baby isn't always instant and can be a process that takes a few days or even a few weeks. I worry sometimes that I won't bond instantly with Nathan.

Matt's been saying for weeks how unfair it is that I've gotten to hold and carry Nathan all this time, and he hasn't gotten to. Believe me, I'd willingly share if I could.

Sometimes I freak out about having a boy. I told Matt that I don't know how to be a mom to a boy, because I've never been a boy. He reassured me that he was a boy and we'd be okay. I'm sure when it comes time for baby #2 I'll probably be hoping for another boy, because I'll have experience with raising a boy and would freak out about having no clue how to raise a girl.

There are days when it still doesn't feel real that we're going to have a baby. I feel like I'm just going to be pregnant forever.

Everyday I go back and forth about when I want Nathan to come. Good thing I don't have any control over it.

Here is a little more detail into my thought process (I have some really shallow reasons, but again, I have no control over it, so I can think whatever I want)

Reasons I want him to come now:
- Obviously I can't wait to meet him, hold him and see what he looks like (I hope he has lots of hair!)
- I'm tired of being pregnant
- Our anniversary is 3 weeks from tomorrow, and it will be the first time we leave him with my parents so we can go on a date. We're not planning to give him a bottle (or any other nipple) until he is at least two weeks old (to help with the nursing process). If he isn't two weeks old by our anniversary, we can only be away from him for about an hour max (and I'm sure this nervous momma would be terrified he'd get hungry while we're gone, and we probably wouldn't even stay away an hour. I'm envisioning a Sonic drive thru date to celebrate 5 years). If I'm able to pump and leave a bottle at my parents we could have a couple of hours to celebrate.
- It would be fun for him to be born in April. May is a busy month for us, and I'd hate for him to have to share his birthday month with our anniversary and Matt's birthday. He deserves his own month.


Reasons I'm fine if he waits another week to come:
- My doctor will be back in town to deliver him (that's probably the biggest reason I'm okay if he waits)
- It would be nice to have a couple of days at home (off work) to relax and get last minute things done before he gets here.
- We have made some fun plans for this weekend to celebrate our last weekend as just the two of us including a trip to the dog park, snow cones, and dinner with friends, and part of me wants to be able to have that time together before Nathan is born.

My Journey toward Becoming an LMFT

I’m trying to figure out exactly where this journey toward accomplishing this goal began. Technically, I could probably justify saying that my journey began in Kindergrarten or more recently I could say that it started when I began my Master’s program at OSU, but I think I’ll start with events that led to me learning that the field of Marriage and Family Therapy even existed.

The summer before I began college at OSU I received a letter that I had been accepted into a new scholarship program at known as the Freshman Research Scholars program. The program included a small scholarship, a one hour course on research, and an opportunity to gain hands on experiences doing research at the university. During the research class, one of our assignments was to identify a professor on campus conducting research in our area of interest and contact them. I really don’t know how, but I ended up in the Human Development and Family Science department of the College of Human Environmental Sciences. My major was in a different department in an entirely different college, but I found myself talking to the head of the department of HDFS asking about professors’research interests. She informed me that there was a new professor in the department who just happened to be the newest faculty member in the MFT program and would be willing to meet with me. I visited with Dr. Topham briefly and he agreed to help me fulfill the class requirements. During the following semester, I learned about his research project, attended his research meetings, and even helped code some videos for his project. At the end of the semester we met one final time to talk about my experiences in the Research Scholars program. During our conversation he asked what my plans were after graduation (still a very long way off). I told him that my plans included pursuing a master’s degree in most likely some sort of counseling field. He encouraged me to look into Marriage and Family Therapy when considering options after graduation. I hadn’t heard of this program or field previously, but I remember heading back to my dorm and researching some of the websites he had given me. It looked interesting and more narrowly focused to my particular interests than other master’s programs I had looked into. But I was a freshman and applying to graduate programs was still several years away.

Even though at the time, I wasn’t sure which Master’s program I would complete, I still planned and worked toward having an impressive application throughout the next couple years of college. I maintained good grades, studied way too hard for finals, completed requirements for an honor’s award, helped with research projects in the department, built relationships with professors who would write letters of recommendation, worked part time jobs that were relevant to my field, and completed a senior honors thesis, all things that I knew professors of graduate programs were looking for in potential students. During my last year of my undergraduate degree, my path crossed once again with Dr. Topham who was hiring students for research positions for a huge grant he and other faculty had received. He hired me and supervised me during the semester I worked on the project.

During my last year of college, I got serious applying to graduate programs. At the time Matt and I were engaged and had a wedding date two weeks following graduation. I applied to several programs around the state including OSU’s MFT program. I remember going on interviews and looking at the curriculum of other counseling programs and just not being interested in most of the classes. Matt had a great job in Stillwater that he had been at for a couple of years and had been given the option to stay on after graduation part time. He accepted that position and also decided he wanted to pursue an MBA at OSU, so staying in Stillwater after graduation became a great option. Over Spring Break of my senior year in college, I received a letter that I had been admitted to OSU’s MFT program. I was ecstatic! OSU’s program is the only nationally accredited MFT program in Oklahoma, and being accredited was a very big deal to me. I knew the training and education would be top notch because of the strict requirements. OSU’s program was definitely my number one choice, but I knew they were very selective and only admitted between 6-8 students per year, and I needed other options in case it didn’t work out. Thankfully, it did.

The following August, I began the most intense and difficult 2.5 years of my education. I was a newlywed thrown into a majorly time intensive program that left me with class, clinic or work commitments almost every night of the week. During the next 2.5 years, I completed 55 hours of coursework, read thousands of pages of text books and hundreds of research articles, wrote countless papers, observed thousands of hours of therapy, completed over 500 hours of direct client therapy, commuted to Edmond for eight months for an externship, worked as a graduate research assistant, and graduate teaching assistant, and wrote an 80 page creative component evaluating Oklahoma’s Foster Parent Training Program. I also was challenged in my beliefs and views of therapy, my weaknesses were exposed, I developed lifelong relationships with fellow students and professors, and learned how to be a marital and family therapist. Then I graduated and set off on the next step in the journey.

During my last semester of graduate school I applied for jobs and was given a job offer as a school-based counselor with Youth Services on the day of graduation. With a fresh degree and a new job, I applied for licensure with the Oklahoma State Department of Health. I rounded up letters of recommendation, got fingerprinted, printed off transcripts, and interviewed LMFT supervisors. Once my application was approved and I had nailed down a supervisor, I could officially begin work as an LMFT candidate. Over the next two years I passed a national written exam and a state oral exam, met weekly with my supervisor to process cases and other professional issues, and submitted paperwork to the licensing board semi-annually, praying they would count all the hours I had earned (They are not always the easiest people to work with).

Finally, more than seven years after that chance meeting with Dr. Topham , I received this little piece of paper in the mail…



This is a major accomplishment for me and a goal that I've worked harder and longer for than almost anything else so far in my life. I am now officially known as Angela Baugher LMFT.

The Last Week

Everyday we are getting closer to meeting our sweet baby. The preparations are in the final stages. The car seat is installed, the diaper bag is packed, my hospital bag is packed, Rhapsody had a visit to the groomer, the pack and play is in our room, all the clothes, sheets, and blankets have been washed, and we are just waiting for Nathan to join our little family. I thought it would be a good idea to write down how Matt and I spent our last few days as just a family of two. I’m sure in the future we will look back on this and laugh about how much changed so quickly.

Last Friday after dinner, we invited our good friends Jason and Andrea over for the evening. We hadn’t played Settlers in several weeks, and Matt was itching for a good game. We played and visited and cuddled with Chloe.

Saturday morning, Matt went golfing with Barry, and my mom treated me to a pedicure. I even had my toes painted blue in honor of a certain little boy who is coming soon. I can’t really reach my toes anymore to paint them, and although Matt has offered to paint them for me, I think a pedicure was a great option. After my pedicure I had lunch with my mom and then went home to wait for Matt to get back from golfing. We spent the evening with friends celebrating our friend Matt’s birthday with several other friends from Sunday school. We ate cake and ice cream and played Cranium.

After church on Sunday, I enjoyed a short nap, Matt did some yard work and then we went to my parent’s house for dinner. They offered to grill steaks for us, and if you know my husband, then you know he will NEVER turn down steak. After dinner we visited and played cards for awhile.

After work on Monday we had a quick dinner and then headed to church to have our portrait made for our church pictorial directory. I was a little bummed that Nathan won’t get to be in the picture, but the timing just didn’t work out. We’ll have lots of opportunities for family pictures in the future I’m sure. We stopped for frozen custard on the way home and I teased Matt that it felt like a mini date night.

Tuesday evening I left Matt and went to my last Bible Study of the year. Since it was the last one, we had a fellowship dinner and people shared about things they had learned throughout the year. It was a fun night. Our small group started with about 6 or 7 ladies last Fall, and we had 4 women in the small group announce pregnancies throughout the year. I bet you can guess that a lot of our conversations centered around pregnancies and babies.

Wednesday was the only night last week that I spent at home. After dinner and Rhapsody’s walk, Matt and I spent a couple of hours doing housework to get ready for company that is coming this weekend. After the house was clean, I was feeling pretty tired and achy so I vegged out in the bathtub for awhile.

Thursday evening after work, I had dinner with the two girls I work with at Cleveland. We ate pizza and visited for a couple of hours. I’m going to miss those girls when I’m on maternity leave. I assured them that we can still do dinners together after Nathan is born, and they have to keep me in the loop of everything that is going on at work while I’m gone. I ran a few errands on the way home after dinner, and then Matt and I just relaxed and watched TV for the rest of the night.

Tonight we have family coming up to celebrate Easter weekend, so we should have a fun time. Then we’ll just wait and see when Nathan decides to come. I do realize we probably have one and possibly two more weeks before he makes his debut (although my doctor predicts he’ll be here close to my due date if not before), but in the meantime I plan to savor the last few days in our old routine before life gets really exciting!

Nathan's Nursery

This last week we have put the finishing touches on Nathan's room, and we finally have everything finished and ready in the nursery. Now we just need a baby! Matt has always had a soft spot for elephants, and I knew if we had a boy that elephants would be a main part of the nursery. I fell in love with bedding from Pottery Barn a long time ago, and we based the room off of it. Matt worked really hard on the nursery. He painted the room blue and also painted a border of elephants. He did a great job. We found the dresser on clearance at a local furniture store. We looked forever at baby dressers/changing tables and couldn't find anything we liked, but we both really like the dresser and the price we paid too. It's already full of sweet baby boy clothes, pajamas, diapers, bibs, and sheets.

Matt ordered an unfinished bookcase and stained it to match the rest of the furniture in the room. That was his other big project.

Once Nathan gets here, we are hoping to get some good newborn photos of him and frame one and hang it above the dresser.

One thing I really like about our bedding is that there are a lot of different patterns within it. We took advantage of the different patterns and used them as accents in his room. My mom made the valance and memory board with green polka dot fabric, and she also lined several baskets that are used throughout the room with the green fabric and a blue gingham fabric too. The letters above the crib were my project for the nursery. I pulled out some of the patterns in the bedding and bought scrapbook paper that matched and then printed the letters of his name and framed them. I thought they turned out really cute.

I just love his room and the way everything turned out. It has been so fun working on it with Matt in anticipation of the arrival of our son. I walk in it a few times everyday just to look at it and think about what it will be like when Nathan finally arrives. I'm sure we'll spend lots of time in there.

Pregnancy Confessions

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the middle of cleaning our shower, and I had a major breakdown (including lots of tears) that I would go into labor and my house wouldn’t be clean, and all our family would come to see Nathan and see my dirty house. Thankfully, Matt was gone at the time or he would have thought I’d gone crazy. I composed myself before he got back.

I’m not eating cookie dough while I’m pregnant because of the raw eggs. Eating cookie dough is about 90% of the reason I bake cookies (I prefer the dough to baked cookies almost any day), so Matt hasn’t gotten any in awhile because I don’t think I could handle the temptation. But one day I was desperate for some cookie dough, so I researched and found out that store bought cookie dough either doesn’t include eggs, or the eggs are required to be pasteurized. Want to guess what I did? I bought a tube at the store and ate it (Not all at once, I promise. I stored it in the freezer).

One of the things I think I’ll miss most about being pregnant besides feeling Nathan kick is playing the “pregnancy card” especially with Matt. There are lots of perks involved. He bends over to pick things up for me, brings me glasses of water when I’m on the couch, and I get extra backrubs, and whenever I complain about having a rough week I even get roses. I’m not sure what I’ll do when that pregnancy card is off the table, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something :).

As much as I’m looking forward to meeting Nathan and not being pregnant anymore, I’m also really excited about having time off work and just getting to be at home all summer. That’s a nice perk of having a baby.

Throughout this pregnancy, Matt and I have often talked about how we’re going to miss our current life stage (pre- babies). I’m really thankful we’ve had almost 5 years to ourselves, but I know we can never go back to the way we were before babies, and I get sad about it sometimes.

I’m not sure if I’ve had any real cravings this pregnancy, but usually when something sounds good to eat, I call it a craving. It feels like I have more of an excuse to eat it. I “crave” ice cream a lot.

I miss shopping and being able to wear non-maternity clothes.

I’m sad we aren’t getting to go on a big vacation this year. We have always gone around our anniversary, and as it’s nearing that time of the year, I’m missing the planning and anticipation of a fun trip. I’m sure I’ll forget all about it after Nathan is born, but right now I’m a little bummed.

Final Stretch

I've reached the point in my pregnancy where if I go into labor, the doctors won't stop it, so technically I could have this baby any day. However, after my last doctor's appointment, it doesn't look like he will be coming any time soon. That's fine with me. I want him to grow and develop until he is good and ready to enter this world. It's still crazy though that we are most likely less than a month away from meeting this baby we have been talking about, and praying and planning for for the last 8 months, and really before that even. Here are a few updates on my pregnancy in the last few weeks.

Symptoms:

Fatigue has definitely returned. It's different than the first trimester fatigue when I just couldn't keep my eyes open and neededt o sleep. This fatigue is just plain exhaustion. My whole body is tired at the end of the day. Naps have increased some but usually only on the weekends. It's hard to be productive in the evenings, because I just want to lie around or take a bath. That can be frustrating because there is a lot that needs to get done before he arrives, and a lot of the time I just don't have the energy to do much. I also want to take advantage of the last couple of weeks I have just with Matt, but I'm too tired to do much especially in the evenings after work.

My lower back hurts occasionally. Usually I notice it in the afternoons and evenings after I've been at work all day. It comes and goes, and isn't constant which is something to be thankful for.

Sleep has actually still been good. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that the last few weeks of pregnancy are terrible for sleeping, but I haven’t had too many problems. I get up 2-3 times per night to go to the bathroom, but most of the time I can get back to sleep pretty quickly.

I’ve noticed some swelling. On the days that it’s warm outside I swell up really fast during walks with Rhapsody. I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water to keep the swelling down, and I think it has been helping. My wedding ring still fits as well as all my shoes, so I guess that’s a good sign. I don’t like to be outside for long periods of time in the warm weather, and I’m really glad Nathan will be here before the summer heat comes in full force.

Maternity Clothes:

About 95% of my current wardrobe is maternity. I have a couple of t-shirts I can still wear, but they are getting tight. I’ll be ready to get back in my regular clothes again. Crossing my fingers it won’t be too long after he’s born.

Movement:

Feeling Nathan kick still has not gotten old, and he hasn’t slowed down much. I still usually feel him kick mostly at night or when I’m sitting down. I think when I’m up moving around I put him to sleep. I can tell he’s getting bigger because his kicks are much stronger than they used to be. Matt still tells me every once in awhile that he was kicking like crazy during the night or early morning. We’re going to work on getting his days and nights straight once he gets here.

Favorite Moments:

Matt and I have been spending a lot of time working on the nursery and it’s almost finished. We’ll add a few things after he’s born, but we’re getting close to ready for his arrival. We’ve each had our own projects that we’ve worked on in his room, and it’s been fun and sort of a bonding experience for Matt and me to decorate the nursery together. I walk in there sometimes just to look at it and think about how all we’re missing is a cuddly little newborn.

My baby showers have been really special times. Sometimes I tell Matt, that I just don’t get why people are so generous and buy us presents just because we are having a baby. We are so thankful for our family and friends who have been super sweet to us in giving us gifts and sharing in our excitement. Through this pregnancy we have realized all the blessings we have besides the blessing of a baby on the way. We have been reminded of the importance of our support system and have enjoyed celebrating with so many of the people who are close to us.

In the last few weeks, Matt and I have also enjoyed some special dates that we’ve really enjoyed. Our weekend getaway to Kansas City, Beauty and the Beast at the PAC and our Melting Pot date have been fun times for us, and I’ve been reminded to be intentional in ensuring we still have quality alone time after Nathan arrives. Thank goodness my parents are just a few miles away and they’ve already informed us they are more than willing to babysit at any time.

Baby Bump Pictures:

28 weeks

33 weeks

34 weeks

36 weeks